Unless you are a fantasy Luddite, you’ve heard the news: George Lucas sold his Star Wars franchise for over…
Yup. Over four billion.
For years Star Wars fans have been up in arms about Lucas’ artistic license, like changing episodes 4-6, and creating episodes 1-3. We need not even mention Jar-jar or the Ewoks. In fact, the fervor against Lucas has culminated into a documentary called, The People Vs. George Lucas. Check it out:
A moment of transparency is in order. On May 19th, 2005, after watching Revenge of the Sith for the first time, I walked out of the theater, headed into a bathroom stall, and wept.
True story.
My childhood dreams had been shattered. All I wanted was to see Vader hunt down the Jedi, as Obi-Won mentioned in A New Hope. Instead, all I got was, ‘NOOOooooooooo!”
Nonetheless, for the time being the franchise is safely out of Lucas’ hands. Let’s hope Disney can do a better job.
I have an idea, though.
I know the chances of a writer working for the Disney/Abrams team actually reading this blog are as about as good as my midichlorian count jumping past 50, but here it is:
How fantabulous would it be to see an opening scene in Episode 7 where two mysterious figures are wandering through the alley behind an off world bar? They are cloaked in the typical Star Wars dirty brown, potato sack weave.
While about their secret business, a shifty-eyed Rodian follows them (A Rodian is the race of Greedo). As they shuffle through the alley way, the Rodian gets closer and closer, drawing a pistol.
At the sound of the pistol being drawn from the hardened leather holster, one of the hooded figures shifts his head to the side, as if he heard the sound (a la Indiana Jones).
Suddenly, the cloaked figure drops to his knees, pulls out a blaster reminiscent of a Mauser C96, and blasts the Rodian before he can even cock his gun.
The cloaked figure steps into the light, pulls off his hood, revealing an aged, but still dangerous Han Solo.
<Audience cheers.>
Surveying the smoking corpse, the other mysterious figure pulls off his hood. It’s Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master.
“Why did you shoot first?” Luke asks.
“I always shoot first” says Han, in his typical B.A. style.
<Audience cheers again>
<Hardcore fans wet themselves>
Hey, a Star Wars fan can dream.
Oh, here’s a funny video. I don’t want my kids growing up in a world where Greedo shot first.
It would be so awesome if this became reality.
Indeed
Wait. You must be mistaken, your moment of transparency is a wisp of some alternate reality. Revenge of the Sith did not happen. Attack of the Clones did not happen. Phantom Menace did not happen. I have spent nearly a decade trying to erase this false reality. It is possible, as possible as cheering Tinkerbell back to life, please say it is possible.
I’m not sure why, but I recently re-watched those.
Is my salvation still secure?